


Fade (Back) to Black

by CryptidOwl007



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU: color soulmates, Angst, M/M, but with one gay, they see rainbows, things aren't so colorful, when two gays get together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-05-02 16:09:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5254742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CryptidOwl007/pseuds/CryptidOwl007
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an alternate universe where your world explodes in color when you meet your soulmate, Oikawa has gotten used to seeing color since meeting Iwaizumi as a child. But in this same world, the color leeches out as your soulmate dies. So when the color suddenly disappears one day, Oikawa is at a loss for what to do- and without Iwaizumi to guide him, he may make some poor choices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: First Color

Sitting underneath the park slide, Oikawa clutched his knobbly knees tighter to his chest, letting out a sigh. Today would be as boring as the last it seemed; his life as dull as his vision. Nothing and no one to give him a "spark" as his mother called it. She had told him that her first spark came when she was tutoring other kids in junior high, and that her second spark had come when she met his father. Oikawa supposed his first spark had been aliens. They were the only interesting thing in the world since everything else was easy to figure out. People were especially simple to read: they all had something they wanted and a set way to get it. Oikawa had gotten good at figuring those out, but it made people wary of him. No one liked being read like that. It made people avoid him.

Sighing again, Oikawa rested his chin atop his hands. No one would play with him, so it was pointless to be here. The only reason he even was outside was because his mother had told him to stop watching alien documentaries and directed him to the park where he "might actually get to meet one." But like before, no aliens or friends were to be found.

Unexpectedly though, a flower was thrust in front of his face. Transfixed, Oikawa stayed perfectly still, trying to comprehend what was right in front of him. A word flashed across his mind.

_Red._

_This was a red flower._

Even as focused as he was on the colorful flower, Oikawa could see all sorts of other colors leak into his surroundings. The green grass, the blue slide, the brown bench, and the tan hand of a boy holding a flower up to him.

Tearing his eyes away from the bright red petals, Oikawa squinted up at the boy standing over him. A gruff frown plastered his face, but despite that, his outstretched hand was so incredibly welcoming.

"That's a red flower," Oikawa pointedly told him.

"Yeah," the other boy grunted.

"That's the first color I've ever seen," Oikawa stated. A red like the flowers colored the boys face.

"Same here," he grunted sheepishly. Oikawa stole a glance at the rest of the boy. A black tank top paired with navy blue shorts and beige sandals. Even though colors were new to him, Oikawa understood that this was a terrible outfit. One hand held a volleyball against his hip, while the other still offered him the flower. Gently taking the flower from his hand, Oikawa held it up for closer inspection. Tiny flecks of yellow colored the petals, like tiny UFO's.

"Wanna play volleyball with me?" the boy asked, now holding out the ball.

"I've never played before," Oikawa told him, shrugging. It would probably be as boring as everything else he tried to do. Mastery was always just a little hard work away, but after that activities became stifling to him. There was never any excitement after a while.

A giant grin spread across the other boys face, and Oikawa wondered if he had turned as red as the flower too. He also wondered if he could get the boy to smile like that again.

"That's okay, I'll teach you! What's your name?" he asked, pulling Oikawa to his feet.

"Oikawa Tooru," he replied, allowing the other boy to pull him out from the shade of the slide and into the yellow sunlight.

"Nice to meet you! I'm Iwaizumi Hajime," Iwaizumi told him, still grinning. Letting a smile spread across his own face, Oikawa only had one thought.

 _I'm going to marry him one day._  

 

His mother calling his name was the only reason Oikawa stopped playing with Iwaizumi that day. Before he left, Oikawa made Iwaizumi promise to meet him again tomorrow to play. 

"Don't forget!" Oikawa yelled, waving as his mother walked him back home.

"Is that a friend of yours Tooru?" his mother asked. Beaming up at her, he gleefully replied,

"Yup! Iwa-chan's my spark!" before skipping ahead, leaving his confused mother standing alone in the middle of the sidewalk.

That night, Oikawa made sure to properly preserve his precious flower and store it between the pages of his diary. Bouncing with excitement, he barely managed to sleep and was nearly late meeting Iwaizumi. As the easy days spent playing together turned into months, the two became inseparable. Iwaizumi had become Oikawa's spark along with volleyball, and both things he devoted himself to. Iwaizumi gave him strength when volleyball seemed to take it from him, and volleyball was his relief when even Iwaizumi couldn't help him.

And as more days passed and they spent more time together, Oikawa still couldn't wait for the day when he could ask Iwaizumi to marry him.

Middle school, where Iwaizumi helped him grow past his fear of Tobio and gave him a bloody lesson in teamwork.

High School, where they played their last game together but left with no regrets.

College, where they decided on their career paths and began living together.

And September 5th, where not Oikawa, but Iwaizumi got on one knee with a ring and asked Oikawa to spend the rest of his life with him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part 1 of 3 for this fanfic, based on an idea from apharthurkirklands on tumblr. As always, constrictive criticism is appreciated. I'll hopefully finish the entire fic this week, so please look forward to it!


	2. Where are the Colors?

A buzzing in Oikawa's ear roused him, forcing him to roll over and squint at the alarm clock. Groaning, he read the time- 5:45 a.m. To damn early. It was like being back at Seijoh and having to get up for morning practice.

"Iwa-chan the alarm," Oikawa whined. Grunting, Iwaizumi rolled on top of him, reaching for the clock to silence the buzzing. Oikawa let out an indignant squeak as his fiance rolled off of him, swinging his legs over the side of the bed to sit up. Moving to drape himself across Iwaizumi's back, Oikawa poked at his cheek with one long, thin finger.

"That was mean Iwa-chan! And I'm supposed to be your beloved husband." Letting out a yawn, Iwaizumi retorted,

"Not yet you're not; we still have to go through the ceremony and sign the papers." Pouting, Oikawa stretched his hands out in front of them both.

"That doesn't count! You're mine already. And I always get what I want Iwa-chan," he teased, rotating the engagement ring I waizumi had given him around his finger. The light from the alarm clock cast a light green shade to the diamond, but its brilliance remained undiminished. Getting to his feet so Oikawa was forced to release him, Iwaizumi's tone betrayed how ludicrous he though the idea was.

"Who says I'm yours?"

"I do; ever since we were kids, I swore I'd marry you one day. . . What?" Oikawa asked defensively, shying away from Iwaizumi's confused face.

"Nothing, it's just that I swore the same thing when we were kids." Oikawas mouth dropped open in surprise as he gawked at Iwaizumi. Realizing what he had said, Iwaizumi's face went red as he stalked across their apartment and into the kitchen. Engrossing himself with making coffee, he ignored Oikawa's taunts.

"Oh my _god_ Iwa-chan! You never say lovey-dovey things like that! Are you still half-asleep?" Scrambling out of their bed, a blanket still tangled around his legs, Oikawa pursued him into the kitchen. Even though Iwaizumi had his back to him, Oikawa could still see the tinge of red behind his ears. And he was _delighted_.  

"Iwa-chan stop ignoring me, it's very rude." Practically stepping on Iwaizumi's heels, Oikawa followed him around as he got ready for work. Finally Iwaizumi couldn't take it anymore, and laughing, turned around to plant a kiss on Oikawa's forehead.

"You need to stop following me around and start getting ready for work," he told him, escaping into the bathroom while Oikawa stood there, humming with pleasure. Moving to stand in the doorway, Oikawa frowned.

"You know, you didn't have to take a part time job working construction to help pay for the wedding." he said, moving to cling to Iwaizumi's arm, the beginnings of a pout forming.

"I know," Iwaizumi told him, brushing Oikawa's hair off his forehead, "but it'll be nice to have some extra money."

"Hmm. . . well, you're starting to gain back your muscles so no complaints here I guess." A sly grin crossed Oikawa's face as he gently squeezed Iwaizumi's bicep. Flexing underneath his fingers, Iwaizumi shot back,

"I never lost them ShittyKawa." Kissing his cheek, Iwaizumi pried Oikawa off his arm and made his way to the door. "Make sure you're not late to your own job," he yelled, stepping outside.

"Have a nice day Iwa-chan!" Oikawa sang, watching as the door closed. He glanced over at the kitchen clock. There was still time before he actually had to be at the office, so Oikawa decided to stop by his favorite convenience store and grab some milk bread. It was on the way to his office anyway, and there, he could pick up some agedashi tofu for Iwaizumi. Maybe if he did that, Iwaizumi would give him one of his rare smiles where his entire face relaxed and only the corners of his mouth were upturned. Of all Iwaizumi's expressions, that had to be Oikawa's favorite. It was the only one where Iwaizumi looked truly peaceful.

After checking he had grabbed all his paperwork, Oikawa waltzed out the apartment complex and into his car. Pausing to fix the slight curl of his bangs, he started the car and pulled away. As long as the store wasn't busy, he'd make it to work with time to spare.

Luck was on his side- the store only had a few customers in it. Pleased to find both his snack and Iwaizumi's, Oikawa checked out and climbed back into his car. Unwrapping the bread, he shoved a piece in his mouth before leaving the parking lot. Pulling onto the main road, Oikawa was glad his shift was early in the morning. Tokyo traffic was hell, but it wasn't unbearable this early.

As he drove on, Oikawa began ticking off all the things they still had to do for the wedding. There was the final tuxedo fitting, picking the entree course, and, of course, the vows. Oikawa insisted they write them separately so it would be a surprise. He was very pleased with how his were turning out and hoped Iwaizumi would be able write something at least a _little_ sappy. But other than that, the wedding was falling into place. Just like Oikawa's life.

Humming, he sat at the stop light, waiting for it to turn green. But when it did, he continued to sit there, his hum dying out. Even though the light had turned...

_It hadn't turned green._

Glancing around in a haze, he watched as other colors dissipated completely or quickly faded back to black. The grass, the sky, other cars- all of it was reverting to black and white. Only the faintest tinges of red were left, and even those were hard to discern. It was as if a switch had been flicked, returning everything to how it had been before Oikawa met Iwaizumi. 

Oikawa's breaths were becoming shallow and quick. Wrenching his gaze from the fading colors, he looked at his clock. 7:28.

_Iwaizumi already at work. . . Oh god, t_ _here must have been an accident._

Oikawa felt his heart racing as his vision narrowed. The car horns honking behind him were barely audible. Only one thing mattered to him right now.

           _Where would Iwaizumi be?_

Would he still be at the construction site? Or did they already take him to the hospital? The hospital Iwaizumi listed in his papers wasn't far, he just had to make the left turn at the next light. Looking back up at the light, Oikawa watched in horror as it switched back to red- he could barely see the light's tinge. His thoughts and fears clamoring around his head, Oikawa slammed on the gas. Take the next turn, and he'd be able to meet Iwaizumi at the hostpital. The red of the stop light was still there, and so Iwaizumi was too.

_I have to meet him there._

Careening into the intersection, one loud, long honk filled his ears. An impact sent his car spinning, and his head crashing into the steering wheel. Everything was a gray haze;  he wasn't sure if it was the smoke making it that way or if that was how the world looked to him now. Waves of pain washed over him, threatening to knock him out. He needed to stay awake.

Straining his eyes to focus, Oikawa locked onto the red of the traffic light through his broken windshield. Blinking, he tried focusing on it harder, but it was growing dimmer and dimmer. Out of the corner of his eye, Oikawa saw the other driver stumble out of his own car. But that didn't matter- Oikawa remained transfixed by the light, willing it to grow brighter.

He remained fixated on that light, even as he felt his consciousness fading away and as the darkness pushed at the edges of his vision. He had to keep staring at the light. If he blinked, it would disappear. Iwaizumi would disappear.

But the darkness continued to press against his vision, and Oikawa's eyes started to drop.

The red light, a red just like Iwaizumi's flower from so long ago, faded out with his vision.

   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part 2 of 3 for this fanfic, based on an idea from apharthurkirklands on tumblr. My sincerest apologies for any suffering I may have caused, but just wait for part 3! You'll LOVE it. As always, constrictive criticism is appreciated. I'll hopefully finish the last part this weekend, so please look forward to it!


	3. Finale

Climbing off the bus, he took a moment to get his bearings. Moving to the map mounted on a board, he looked for where the cemetery was. Tracing the path, it didn't look far from the bus station; might as well walk the rest of the way. But walking down the quiet street, memories of walks to practice and on dates mingled around his mind. He didn't focus on any one memory. If he did, he risked unraveling. It had taken him time to recover from waking up in a hospital bed and not being able to see the bedside flower's colors. He'd barely been able to make himself go through his dead fiances things while he recovered, but eventually he'd had to deal with it. Clothes, cologne, a toothbrush, nick-nacks, everything brought up a fresh memory and fresh pain. The week he went through his stuff, he didn't take calls or visitors.He wanted to be alone and he couldn't bear to let any friends or family see his fragility. But he'd found something, and for the first time in weeks, he'd left the house. For the first time since the funeral, he was returning to the grave.

Wrapped up in his thoughts, he almost stumbled on a potted plant sitting outside a shop. Glancing up, he noticed it was actually a flower shop, and debated if he should go in and get something to bring to the grave. Squaring his shoulders, he stepped in. He headed strait to the woman standing at the counter- he'd need her to find a flower the right color. The black vines and gray petals surrounding him weren't what he wanted.  

"Hello sir! How can I help you?" her smile tugged at a memory buried in the back of his mind. A small child among blooming colors smiling just like that. Pushing it aside, he pulled out an envelope from his pocket and withdrew a slip of paper. Unfolding it, he slid a small blossom onto the palm of his hand. A blossom that contained far to many memories.

"Do you have any flowers the color of this one?" he asked, pointing at the small blossom in his hand. At he quizzical look he offered, "I can't tell a flower's color anymore." The woman's smile faded for a split second as she registered the implications of what he'd said. Bringing it back brighter, another memory tried to surface of a certain someone who would smile to make him feel better. He ignored it, and instead focused on what she was saying.

"I can do you one better, I've got that exact flower in stock. Please wait here." The woman stepped into a backroom, and he heard her rummaging around. Glancing around the shop, he tried to picture what some of the flowers actually looked like. Most colors had faded from his memory and he could no longer recall what they looked like, but sometimes he could imagine something being colored red. Bustling out from the back room, he returned his attention to the woman. In her hands, she held a small bouquet. The flowers were the same shape as the one in his hand, if slightly bigger. His breath caught as a memory of what the flower looked like overwhelmed him, and for a brief moment he could see their redness and tiny flecks of yellow. Taking another breath, the mirage left as quickly as it had come. He switched to studying the ribbon that was tied around the flowers, holding them together. It appeared to be white, but he couldn't be sure.

"Here you are sir," she said, ringing up the flowers.

"Thank you," he replied, handing her money and taking the flowers. His heart clenched as their smell wafted over him. More memories threatened to surface, so he quickly turned to leave.

"It's a beautiful color," he heard the woman say behind him softly. Pausing he nodded to her before stepping out of the store and into the sunlight. He stood for a moment as the light warmed his skin. Heaving out a sigh, he continued up to road to the cemetery.

 

Walking through the graves left him oddly agitated. He shouldn't have to _be_ here; he didn't _want_ to be here. All the graves looked the same; he was afraid he'd get lost. It had been almost two months since the funeral, would he be able to remember the way?

Swinging his head around, he spotted a rosebush planted against the cemeteries fence, growing up and over it. Sighing in relief, he moved towards it. That was where he'd been buried, right beside the red flowers. He stood for a while in front of the grave, allowing all his pain and loneliness to wash over him. Bending over, he laid down the bouquet of flowers at the base of the headstone.

"I picked this up from a local flower shop. The flower lady's smile looked a lot by yours. Damn near almost cried in front on her." Dropping to his knees, he continued. 

"You'd be upset, wouldn't you? You wouldn't want me acting like this. You'd say something annoyingly accurate like I just need to get on with it, and that the future is what really matters," he choked out, laughing. The corners of his mouth were upturned in a half smile, but tears were still forming at the corners of his eyes. "I didn't think I'd actually make it to this point. Now I'm not sure what to do."

Reaching out to run his fingers over the gravestone's engraving, he felt the name carved into it just like he'd felt all the scars that covered his childhood friends body from accidents in years long gone.

OIKAWA TOORU

July 20, 20XX-February 9, 20XX

"I'm sorry," Iwaizumi whispered, leaning his head against the cold stone, "You never could properly take care of yourself, and I don't know what to do without you here. And after I found this," he said, leaning back to take out the envelope and pulling the flower and a second piece of paper out, "I knew I had to come out here." Gripping the paper tightly in his hands, he watched as his tears dripped onto the page.

"You were going to surprise me right? At the wedding by pulling out the stupid flower I gave you when we first meet during your vows. I couldn't believe what it was went I found it." Iwaizumi could feel himself shaking. His fears and sorrow were going to overwhelm him; he just wanted to run and hide. He didn't want to be here where the reality of Oikawa's death was right in front of him. Through his tears, he looked at the words Oikawa had written for his vows. Beginning to read aloud, Iwaizumi could hear how shaky his voice was.

" _My dearest Iwa-chan,_

_I know you can't handle all the love I want to shower on you at once, so I'll keep this short and sweet. Do you remember this flower? You gave it to me when we first met, and it was the first color either of us had ever seen. So I'm giving it back to you now so that you understand that I have always, and will always, want to be with you. I love you Iwaizumi Hajime and I will never, ever leave your side. Whether it's on a volleyball court or the wild ride called life, I will be your partner. So with complete sincerity, thank you for being with me. I look forward to our future together!"_

 Iwaizumi clutched the piece of paper as close as he could to his heart. The tears streaming down his face made it hard to see, and his sobs made it hard to breathe evenly.

"I know this wasn't how it was supposed to be, but it's as close as were going to get now," Iwaizumi choked out, grabbing a third piece of paper out of his pocket. Again, he began reading aloud, his voice even shaker than before.

"Oikawa, I know you love everything sappy and lovey-dovey, and I also know that I suck at it. But when I see how your face lights up when I say 'I love you' or when I hold your hand walking down the street it makes me want to do more for you. That's why I made sure my proposal was perfect. And now I promise that from here on out, I will continue to make you smile and as happy as I can. I'm practically your mom, but now I look forward to being your husband. So Oikawa, I love you and I will care for you just as I always have. I'm glad my future will have you in it."

Iwaizumi barely managed to get the last sentence out before his body was wracked by sobs. He stayed like that for a very long time, well past when the sun began setting. He imagined that he could feel Oikawa draped across his back like he always was, trying to get as close as possible to Iwaizumi as he could. It used to be annoying, just another reminder of Oikawa's neediness. But now Iwaizumi craved it, wishing the touch he felt was real, and not just a figment of his imagination.

It was the cold from the setting sun that finally made Iwaizumi move. Slowly getting to his feet, he brushed his fingers over Oikawa's name. 

"I'll be back," he told Oikawa. There wasn't a shake in his voice, just a deep sense of sorrow. 

 

 

As the flower shop girl locked up the store for the night, she was surprised to see the man who had stopped by earlier heading for the bus stop. As he passed underneath a street lamp, she could see his red eyes and blotchy face from crying; but, despite that, she noticed that his back was straighter and he stepped with more purpose. Before, it had seemed like he had great chains attached to his feet that he was forced to drag around. Smiling she finished closing the shop and headed towards her house. She had someone important waiting for her, just as that man must have people waiting for him to return. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PART 3!!!! Aren't you glad you read this fic?? My sincerest apologies for any pain caused! As always, constructive criticism is welcomed and appreciated!


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